Saturday, August 21, 2021
“ In my defence, I hadn't planned to go to the allotment.”
“That might be a defence, it’s not an explanation.”
“Well, I went to deliver L’s card and present for the baby - 4 weeks late but hey, I brought it big enough - and when I got to what I thought was her address, a bedraggled teenager answered the door and told me she'd moved to number 16.
"Right, and that has to do with..."
"Wait. So I knocked on number 16 and a clearly stoned woman answered and looked confused for some time before saying 'I'm not Louise?' I told her I didn't think she was and she looked disappointed, so I backed slowly away."
"So then I considered standing in the middle of the street and shouting 'Louise!' but thought that might get me arrested and that would ruin your weekend with admin, so I started to walk back."
"Thank you for considering the admin,"
"You're welcome. Anyway, on my way back, I bumped into R's father in law and we got talking about the plot inspections and then we were at the gate of the site but hadn't finished talking, so I followed him in and down to the plot. And J was on his, so I said hello and then figured I'd check for beans and courgettes but there weren't any."
"This is fascinating,"
"I know! Anyway, I noticed that some of the cosmos and calendula had gone over and were scattering seed, so I decided to gather as much as I could except I didn't have any paper bags, only the pockets of my jeans. So that's where I put them."
"Exactly. Only I forgot they were in there until I got my foot stuck in my jeans later and turned them inside out, which is when the seeds fell out and why there are now seeds all over the bedroom floor."
"Gotcha. Going to pick them up?"
"Yeah, in a bit. Don't stand on them."
"You're too kind."
This is the kind of conversation that occurs when N goes away for a few days and then comes back to find seeds on the bedroom floor. I won't repeat the conversation we had when he moved a towel in the airing cupboard and sweet pea seeds fell on him.
Honestly, he acts as though this is strange behaviour.
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